Asuran Zala's guide to babies
by In-Case-Of-Dragons
Summary: 9 months after AZGTD, Cagalli has had a Son! Makoto! With 2 children, you'd think he would be good with babies...
1. Rules Number 1 and 2: Here Comes Trouble

Aura: Ok so…I decided to write an Asuran and Cagalli sequel as well…………don't kill me………I just find it easier to write as Asuran then anyone else!

Yzak: Make up you're damn mind lady!

Dan: Hey! Don't be mean to her!

Aura: Take that Yzak! **Pokes out tongue

* * *

**

I stirred from my peaceful sleep. The sun filtered through my curtains and gently caressed my beautiful wife's face. I smiled and a bird landed on the windowsill. How I loved my life! Everything was so peaceful and quiet.

" GIMME BACK MY DIARY!"

" NO! I'M GONNA SELL IT ON EBAY!"

Oh God…why does the peace never last…beside me, Cagalli groaned and rolled over. Uh oh….

" GIVE IT BACK YOU FREAK!"

" WHO'RE CALLING A FREAK YOU TOMBOY!"

I've got to stop them! They're making the biggest mistake of their lives! Cagalli moaned and pulled the pillow over her head. I got up quickly and ran out the room. 14 year old Mine and 11 years old Hiroshi were wrestling each other for the little black and purple book! I picked up the book and threw it out the open window. It landed in the next-door neighbours garden! They looked at each other then raced down the stairs. I heard the front door slam and let out a sigh. I walked back into the bedroom. Cagalli was sat up in bed glaring angrily. I gulped and hesitantly walked up to her.

" Heh, heh, m-morning Sweetie…how's my little son doing…" I gently rubbed her large stomach. I saw her expression soften. She lent down and kissed me. YAY!

" Morning Asuran…what did you do about the kids by the way?"

" I threw the diary out the window so they could fight outside!" Cagalli's eyes widened. Oops! Maybe it wasn't such a hot idea!

" Oh no…"

" Don't worry though Sweetie! They'll-"

" No Asuran…my water just broke!"

"………………………..**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH**

**HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**"

I ran around in lots of little circles waving me arms around! WHAT DO I DO, WHAT DO I DO, WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO? Ok Asuran don't panic…don't panic…WAAAAAAAAAAAH!

" ASURAN! CALM THE HELL DOWN AND GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL!"

" Yes ma'm…" I got up and carried Cagalli down the stairs, nearly killing myself in the process! I got her in the car and began to drive off. I was half way down the road when…

" Asuran…THE KIDS!" OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH CRAP! I slammed on the brakes, did a U-turn and drove all the way back again! The kids were standing on the doorstep glaring at me.

" YOU FORGOT US! I'M NEVER GONNA TALK TO YOU AGAIN!" Mine screamed and climbed in the back with her mother. Hiroshi (after the bad experience 9 months ago with Lunamaria) decided to sit in the front and turn the music up really loud! He shook his head at me and I could just make out what he was saying.

" **Never forget your children in an emergency**!"

I sighed. And I thought I had learned all the rules.

* * *

**The Hospital**

* * *

" Ok Mrs Zala, I need you to push as hard as you can ok!"

" NO! I HATE YOU, GO AWAY!"

" Sweetheart…please don't kill the Doctor! Here, squeeze my hand!" Me and my big mouth! She sure as hell did squeeze!

" One more push Mrs Zala! Come on you can do it!"

" I CAN'T!"

" Yes you can Cagalli! Come on! Think of the look on the doctors face when he finds that you're not a wimp!" Bad choice of words that…

" WHO ARE YOU CALLING A WIMP!" OOOOOOOOOOOOW! MY HAND! I squeezed my eyes shut in pain! She screamed and gave one last push! I suddenly heard the cries of a baby! I opened my eyes and looked up! In the doctors' hands was the cutest baby I had ever seen in my life!

" Congratulations, it's a boy!" I don't who was crying more, me or Cagalli! Cagalli held our son as I held her. I stroked the baby's cheek. It had the most adorable Violet eyes. Obviously from Kira! He had a little layer of cute purple hair! I think the blue was running out and merging with the blonde! I kissed Cagalli passionately. It was so emotional! Up until I realised that I couldn't feel my other hand…I looked at it and saw just how swollen and bruised it was!

" Aw man!" The doctor took one look at it and then dragged me to get an X-Ray. I shouted to the Kids as I was dragged past!

" GO HAVE A LOOK AT YOUR BABY BROTHER!" They jumped up and punched the air!

" YES! A BROTHER!" Now that got them some funny looks! I chuckled as I was thrown into the X-Ray room! So much had happened in 9 months! Kanaye had bribed me with everything possible to let me allow him to date Mine! I gave up in the end, realizing that he must care for her if he was willing to go that far! Hiroshi has a really adorable new study partner! He has such a crush on her! It's so cute! My babies are all grown up!

" Sir! Are you crying?"

" No, no…I just have something in my eye!"

God, I'm such a wimp! Maybe Kira is contagious…hmmmm. I remember when Lacus was pregnant! She kept crying! Cagalli just ate loads of chocolate...

" OOOOOOOOOW!" What the hell! THE FRIGIN' HURT! I looked down at my throbbing, abused hand! They had put a bandage on it! Oh good! Less painful this way!

" Uh…can I go now?"

" Yeah, yeah just be careful!" I got up and ran back to Cagalli and the others! Awwww my son was in there!

* * *

**Back Home**

* * *

We walked inside the house andbaby Makoto was finally asleep! It had taken him the whole of the car ride to calm down! Cagalli took him upstairs and laid him in his cot. The silence was so…so…golden! But then piercing shrill rings echoed through the house! They were interrupted by wails. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I ran and picked up the phone.

" Don't speak…don't talk…don't even breathe…" Makoto stopped crying. I let out a breath I had no idea I was holding!

" Who is it?"

" Uhhhh…it's Kanaye! Is Mine there?" Oh great…

" MINE! IT'S KANAYE!" I threw the phone to her and ran upstairs. Makoto was finally back too sleep! YAY! He was better than Mine was! She screamed for ages! Hiroshi was too quiet! We thought he was ill! I still remember their first words! Mines was 'Prettiful' which isn't an actual word but…oh well! Hiroshi's was 'Dead' which was pretty scary! I walked into his room to pick him up and he screamed 'DEAD' at me! Terrifying I tell you! I wrapped my arms around Cagalli and kissed her next softly.

" You do know that everybody is gonna be giving you rules on Babies right?" Cagalli said moaning softly.

" Of course! I've been waiting for it for 9 months!"

" Well to start you off, Rule Number 1 Asuran Zala: **Don't make out with the Mommy in front of the baby**!" How did I know she was gonna say that…

* * *

Aura: So emotional!

Yzak: **Asleep**

Aura: **sweatdrops **He slept through Makoto's birth!

Dan: XD **pokes Yzak with stick**


	2. Rules Number 3 and 4: Baby Proofing

Aura: BACK, BACK, BACK!

Yzak: **Glares at iamalittleteapot**

Aura: XD you deserved that!

* * *

**BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! **

What the hell is that?

**BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!**

"OOWWWW! DAMNIT!"

What the hell is going on there? I sat up and looked around. Cagalli and Makoto were gone…OMG! What the hell is going on? I got up and ran downstairs as fast as possible. I was not prepared for what I saw next…

There, in the living, was a frustrated Shinn, hammering away at every little thing! The edges and corners of the table and T.V were padded; all the plants were up on high selves (which I swear weren't there before!), the T.V and the Lamp was nailed to the ground and a huge metal…thing was over the fireplace! WHAT THE HELL HAS HE DONE TO MY LIVING ROOM! Cagalli was standing above Shinn with a hammer of her own. She raised the hammer. It was only then that I realised what she was doing…

" NOOOOOOOOO! Cagalli!" I jumped at her and stole the Hammer!

" Killing Shinn isn't gonna help you!"

" No, you're right…I want him to be conscious for this!" She started to kick him in the stomach instead. I sweatdropped. What was I suppose to do! Stop her? Yeah right! I did take Makoto from her and dragged Mine away though…Oh, OH! Here's my chance!

" Rule Number 2 Cagalli Zala: **Never perform Violence in front of the Baby**!"

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS! FOR ONCE, **I** WAS THE ONE GIVING THE RULE! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

" Asuran! HELP ME!" During my happiness, I had accidentally let go of Mine…Oooooh ow! Poor Shinn…

" Uhhhh-OW! Ano-OW!" I heard a groan and looked up. Hiroshi! He was a wake at last! What took him so long!

" Eeeek-OW!" Why was running into the wall? It was all so entertaining for me to watch! That is, until he fell down the stairs! I ran, with Makoto, and tried to catch him…but I missed! He fell right on his head! Cagalli and Mine walked over, both with their hands on their hips. They leant over Hiroshi, who defiantly had Concussion! I handed Makoto to Cagalli and sneaked over to Shinn who was bruised and bleeding on the floor.

" Asuran…thank God…and I thought Luna was scary!"

" It's ok Shinn…don't cry! You'll pull through this man!" I patted Shinn who was defiantly fighting tears! Who could blame him…poor man.

" What were you doing anyway?" I asked, out of curiosity! Well…he has destroyed the living room!

" I'm baby proofing it for you! After Rei and Sakura…lets just say, you shouldn't have to suffer what I did…!" (an: and if you're all lucky, I'll make a Sequel on what happened to poor Shinn…After I finish this one that is! XD!)

" That…is the nicest thing you've ever done for me Shinn…" I smiled at him and he smiled back. Our happy moment was broken suddenly, by a screaming Makoto. I looked up too see Cagalli cooing at him, trying to calm him down! I sweatdropped as I saw Mine dragging her brother back up the stairs by his leg! OH MY GOD!

" I wouldn't like to be you right now Asuran…" And he left. HE LEFT! Shinn just got up…and walked away! DAMN HIM! What more could I do with myself! I dialled the number of Nozomi down the road.

" Uh…hey Miss Nozomi? This is Asuran Zala. I'm sorry to bother you but my Son, Hiroshi-"

"- Has given himself concussion! I'll be right there!" She hung up…wow that was quick! Now I was gonna go and punish Mine! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA This is what a father lives for! I wandered up the many, many stairs (about 20 XD) too Mine's room. Soon my little baby was going to want to have sex and children of her own…but I was never going to let happen!I jumped over Hiroshi and found mine lying upside down on her bed with her arms folded. Cagalli stood next to her with Makoto frowning at her moody daughter!

" Mine! Why did you hit Shinn with a hammer?" I demanded! MWAHAHAHAHA PUNISHMENT!

" 'Cause he's an idiot who woke Mum and Makoto up!" ………………how was I suppose to react to that!

" Well…that was still violence against a friend and that's what starts Wars!" I hadn't mentioned War since Mine was 4 years old. Sadness flashed in Cagalli's eyes. But it was over soon…Mine, Hiroshi and Makoto had no Grandparents…they had 1 aunt and Uncle and two cousins…that was all…because of war…

" Your punishment starts now young lady! You have a 2-day ban from karate!"

" DAAAAAAAAAAD! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

" Watch me!" Suddenly Makoto began to wail again! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

" Rule Number 3 Asuran Zala: ... **DO NOT PUNISH YOUR KIDS IN FRONT OF THE BABY! THE BABY WILL TRY TO OVERULE YOU!**"

" Rule Number 4 Cagalli Zala: **DON'T SHOUT IN FRONT OF THE BABY**!" And that solves that!

* * *

Aura: WEEEEEEEEEEE! Finished chapter 2!

Yzak: Too bored to make a comment….

Aura: **growls**

**Makoto: Sincere**

**SPECIAL THANKS TO MR. J. EVERYDAY FOR RULE NUMBER 3!**


	3. Rule Number 5: One Big Step

Aura: BACK, BACK, BACK!!!

Yzak: FINALLY!!! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!?

Aura: I'm so sorry! **Bows** I've been so busy what with the hospital, school, taking my options and such that I just haven't had time too write! OR the ideas! But I'm back now and that's the way its gonna stay!!

Yzak: Yeah yeah, look, just hurry up and finish this story before I kill you!

Aura: O.O Don't! Hurt! Me!

Everyone else: -.- Not again…

* * *

_Sreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek_

What the?

_Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek_

That doesn't sound too healthy! I opened my and stared up at the moon bathed Ceiling…Wait, MOON bathed? I sat up and slowly looked around. Why the hell was I awake at 3:35 am?

_Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek-SNAP!_

Oh…that's why! I got out of bed as quietly as possible so as not too wake Cagalli's sleeping form next too me. I sighed as I stood up, having accomplished my task, I turned to the door too see…

"MAKOTO!?!?!?"

Cagalli rolled over and groaned slightly. OH CRAP!! Please don't wake up, please don't wake up, please don't wake up, please don't wake up, please don't wake up!!

Her soft rhythmic breathing signified that she'd fallen back too sleep…

THANK GOD!!

I turned back too the door too see our 1 year old son Makoto, holding on too the door handle. How the hell did he get out of the cot!? WHEN DID HE START WALKING!? This can't be right!

" Da…ma…"

He was trying too speak! I picked him up and tiptoed out the room.

" What-how-why…?" I was completely lost for words!

"Ga…um…" Awwww he's trying too talk!

" What is it Makoto? Do you want Mama? Dada? Food?" WOOHOO!! Come on Makoto, you can do it!!

" Ah…uh…CRAP!" He smiled, happy with his achievement, and covered his hands with his mouth.

NOT GOOD!

Ok Asuran, this is all just a horrible, horrible nightmare! You'll wake up tomorrow and it'll ALL go away!

" Crap! Heh Heh! Oops! Crap! Crap! CRAP!" Makoto laughed as if it was the funniest thing in the world while looking really, really pleased with himself! THIS IS NOT GOOD!! OMG! IF CAGALLI HEARS THIS, I'M DEAD MEAT!! Nothing bad has happened since…exactly 1 year ago! When Shinn had baby proofed the living room! God, that took so long too un-proof! Mine turned 15 and her and Kanaye are STILL going! Shinn had a baby boy, who he called Hatsuharu, Shina and Daisuke are actually planning too get married at 18, Rey and Meyrin got married, Hiroshi and his study partner, Nami, totally like each other and are too shy too admit it, and Kiyoshi has developed a bit of a crush on Mine! Everything is so complicated!

" DAD, WATCH OUT!!"

" Huh- AH! MINE!" I'd been so distracted with thinking that I was nearly at the edge of the stairs! I dropped Makoto on seeing Mine in front of me…with Kanaye…holding hands…IN MY HOUSE!! Mine caught Makoto who started laughing at the thrill of being dropped down the stairs.

" **You have three seconds too get out of my house before I kill you…**" I must have looked kinda scary cause Kanaye backed away smiling sheepishly.

" S-Sorry Mr Zala…We were only downstairs playing video games!" And he ran really, REALLY fast down the stairs and out the door!!! Then, Mine turned on me like a wolf on a hare with a broken leg!!

" I hate your guts…" She threw Makoto at me and stomped off. Before she slammed her door shut, she shouted:- 

" RULE NUMBER 5 DAD: DON'T DROP THE F--KING BABY!!!"

* * *

Aura: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! x3

Yzak: -- Why are you so happy?

Aura: Cause I finished it! xD


	4. AnotherNotefImportance!

Aura: I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!

Yzak: Good god woman! Some of are trying too sleep here!!!

Aura: Sorry…But yeah, I'M BACK!!! And I've replaced chapter 3 with an ACTUAL chapter!! And I shall be writing way more frequently from now on!!

Yzak: Yeah yeah…-.-

Aura: O.o Maybe…I should take you too a hospital!

Yzak: zzZZ

Aura: **Sighs** Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new chapter! And i'm almost ready for chapter 4! x3

Arigato!

Kuramas girl Aura

(x.x.x)

* * *


	5. Rule Number 6: One Deep Breath

Aura: God, it feels good too be back!!! n.n

Yzak: -.- At least you're bothering too UPDATE now you're back!

Aura: n.n heh heh!

Miriallia: Heeeey everyone! I just need too point out the Aura owns NOTHING in this story except the plot!

* * *

"Don't you die on me Asuran!"

Make the loud noises stop!

"Don't let them steal your soul away!"

Shinn was trying his hardest, I'll give him that much!

" But…it's…so…hard!"

" NO! Come on Asuran, listen too the sound of my voice!"

" It's one of the things I'm trying too block out!"

" Don't phone ME next time then!"

He had a point! I would have called Kira, but he was having a hard enough time with the twins, Dearka, and his boys and he didn't need me calling him u…wait a second…

" There's…GOING TO BE A NEXT TIME!?"

" Yes Asuran! There are going too be many MANY next times! But you gotta fight it!

" That's easy for YOU too say! They're not shouting at and about YOU are they!"

" Luna does it frequently! Followed by the twins, who can only say 'NO!' and 'Sorry!'"

" Yeah? Well, Cagalli and Mine can actually exchange words!

And were using this advantage too scream the house down!! I mean, really! We have neighbours! I decided too run down here and call Shinn as soon as Mine started throwing baby objects at me! Hiroshi just managed to save the hysterically giggling Makoto before her little outburst! I thought that if I put Makoto back to sleep and went back too bed, I'd wake up too find that Makoto's first word was just a horrible nightmare! But as soon as Cagalli went too wake him up for breakfast, you can guess what his reply was!

" Wait, speaking of words, has Makoto said his first word yet?"

" Yes but you see…that's what this argument started over…"

" Lordy lordy! All that shouting is over one word!? Why!?"

" His first word was crap…"

"………………………………………"

" Shinn?"

" **bursts into hysterical laughing** OMG Asuran! How the hell did you manage that!?"

" Me!? What makes you think it was me!?"

" Who ELSE would brake rule number 6!?"

How did I know he'd bring up a rule!

" Rule number 6 Asuran Zala: Never Swear in Front of the Baby!"

WHY ME!!! Thank god I have the boy…who, speak of the devil, has just come stumbling the stairs, hands over his ears!

" Ah! Sorry Asuran, I gotta go! Luna needs help! Good luck!"

" Thanks Shinn, you too!" I hung up and sighed. Shinn was the bravest guy I knew! He married Luna, had twin daughters and was still perfectly sane!

Well…he hasn't gotten any worse!

" Man, Shinn is one crazy guy!" Hiroshi slapped his forehead as he spoke. I flinched slightly. You can't blame me really! Every time he hits his head, I'm afraid he has concussion!

" I mean, he married LUNA!"

" Hiro! That's cruel! Good, yes, but cruel! Is Makoto asleep?" Hiroshi looked up at me with such a face!

" How…the HELL do you expect him too sleep in THIS racquet?" He had a point! Cagalli and Mine were STILL at it upstairs! How LONG can one argument last! The creepy thing is, Hiro was twitching next too me.

" Dad, hold your breath, I'm going in."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

" Hiro!? What are you saying!? That's…that's…SUICIDE!"

" I'll be fine Dad!" And with that, he marched on up the stairs. That is the bravest kid I have ever known. This is the first time…ever…that Cagalli and Mine had shouted at each other like this! Sure, there have been the occasional argument, but this is full out screaming! Maybe Mine is on her period…I haven't asked but I think she is! I learned so much in the last 2 years that now me and Mine **normally** get on fine! And Hiroshi has turned into a more outgoing, witty, and calm person then he was before!

" OK, YOU TWO ARE GOING TO STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!"

Whoa! Hiro is-is…SHOUTING!

" IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO'S FAULT IT WAS! WITH THE AMOUNT OF SWEARING THAT GOES ON IN THIS HOUSE, IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANYONE!"

Go Hiro!

" NOW, MOM, YOU ARE GONNA GO AND TRY TOO SOOTH YOUR UPSET SON AND MINE, YOU ARE GONNA GO DOWN AND APPOLOGISE TO DAD FOR THROWING THINGS AT HIM! NO BUTS JUST GET MOVING!"

Well…its save too say Hiroshi is in control of this household…

Hiroshi came wandering down the stairs with a lazy smile.

" Meh, at the rate they were going, Makoto's second word would've been 'Bitch' or something."

And that was the day I acquired a new kind of respect for my eldest son.

* * *

Aura: DOOOOOOOOONE!! UPDATED!!

Miriallia: Enjoy!


	6. Rule Number 7: Wo Ai Ni

Aura: After a rather long boring dad at my Grams house, I managed to writing 18 pages of my Cagalli's Adventures in Wonderland story and then this chapter! Boredom compels me to write! n.n

Yzak: **twitches** It took you LONG enough!

Aura: **death glare**

Toby: And btw everyone! This story has no definite sense of time! Unlike her others, they move on one day at a time! So don't worry tooooo much if she jumps like…6 months or something! Its perfectly normal!

Aura: Thanks Toby! Anyway, please enjoy the story!

Miriallia: And I'll do the Disclaimer!! Aura does not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed! She owns Toby, Makoto, Hiroshi and Mine, but all other characters belong to sunrise!

Aura: Yay! Thanks Miri! Now, ON WITH THE STORY!!

* * *

After last week's performance, Cagalli and Mine have been extremely quiet! Makoto started saying NORMAL baby words too! Like mama and dada! The first thing he said when Hiro and me went to check up on him after the fighting had stopped was " Hiroshi! Love!" It was really adorable! 

But Cagalli's uncharacteristic ness was finally explained as I awoke this morning…

I rolled over, instinctively wrapping my arms around the victory goddess next to me. I remember back when we first got married, at the young age of 20, and we started sleeping in bed together! Every time I wrapped my arms around her, she'd blush in this really cute way! I love her blush…I love everything about her! Including her violent outbursts! The pain turns me on slightly…. ok majorly! Cagalli turns me on completely!

" Asuran…Am I a good mom? "

Eh!? Where'd this come from? Through everything Cagalli had kept strong and always been there, putting the kids or me first! I sat up, taking her with me and looked into her sad amber orbs.

" Cagalli, you are a perfect mom! Do you remember when Mine was 3 and Hiro was only a few months old? "

" When Mine was walking along the side of the bridge? "

" That's it! And you told her to watch out and she slipped and fell into the river! Because I was the one holding Hiro, YOU dived in after her! How many mom's would do that!? "

" Well, I guess lots would…"

" And remember when Hiro caught whooping cough? "

" Oh God! Please don't remind me! "

" Who was it who sat with him in the Sauna for Three days and fed him antibiotics? "

" Well…you did too! "

" Yeah, when you took your 5 minuet brake to see how Mine was doing! "

Cagalli smiled up at me. My heart warmed up instantly! She hadn't smiled like that for months! She laughed lightly.

" Arigato…Asuran! "

" No problem Princess! "

" Wow! You haven't called me that in a while!"

True! Ever since I stopped being her bodyguard to look after the kids, I only ever called her Cagalli or pet names! I drew in a breath, puffed out my chest and pretended to look important.

" Miss Athha, Alex Dino reporting for duty! " I saluted her as she burst into a small giggling fit.

" Requesting permission to tickle the princess until she goes blue! "

" N-No, Asuran- ASURAN!! Aaah!! "

I tackled her back onto the bed and tickled her. She began to giggle hysterically. I sat on her pinning her down.

" AHAHAHAHA-M-MERCY!!! "

" On one condition my dear! "

" Any-AHAHAHAHA-anything! "

Yes! She had fallen into my cunning trap! I straddled her hips and kissed her passionately. Just as she started to kiss back, I stopped and drew back! She whimpered and looked slightly annoyed. I smiled.

" Your condition is: you let your poor bodyguard love you in ways quite un-imaginable…"

" Permission granted…"

* * *

**An Hour later, in the living room, (Normal P.O.V) **

" Hey Hiro, have you seen Makoto? " Mine asked her younger brother. He took out his headphones and sat up from his lying position on the sofa.

" No, why? And how can you stand walking around without any ear plugs!? Mom and Dad are practically pushing the bed through the ceiling!" He groaned, mixing with the groans of his father, which made him turn red.

" They've been at it for 1 hour, 3 minuets and 17 seconds now! Do they REALISE they're scaring their kids for life?" Mine sighed in response to her brothers' whines and looked under the sofa.

" The thing you should be most worried about is the fact that Makoto is missing and they show no signs of stopping! "

Suddenly, something dawned on them. Makoto was perfectly capable of getting out of his crib. He was also perfectly capable of opening doors. And at 10:30 he gets hungry. So what's stopping him from looking for his mommy? They both glanced at the clock.

11:30

" SHIT!!! "

They both charged up the stairs to see that the door to their parents' room was ajar…

Ajar enough for a baby to crawl through…

Mine shrugged her shoulders and ran towards the door. Hiro grabbed her instantly.

" Wait! You can't just run in there! "

" Why not? "

He sweatdropped at his sisters' curiosity.

" Ok, tell you what! Lets just wait till they have their…you know…"

" Orgasms? "

Hiro blushed. Mine was so blunt!

" Hey, I'm a little kid remember? I'm not supposed to know about this stuff! "

" Oh Yeah! Gomen! But that means…we gotta wait out here for a bit…you do know that right?"

" WAAAH!" Hiro's innocence and naivety was slowly being drained from him as the two sat outside their parents room…

* * *

**A little while later**

" A-ATHRUN! "

" Cagalli!!! "

" FINALLY!! "

The two children ran inside and saw their baby brother standing at the end of the bed looking on in awe.

" Mama? "

" Don't mind us, just have to pick up Makoto!"

Asuran and Cagalli jumped a mile, turning reader and redder as they realised that all three of their kids were in the room!

" Rule Number 7: DON'T HAVE SEX IN FRONT OF THE BABY!!! "

And with that, the two slammed the door leaving their startled parents to stare at the door in embarrassment…

* * *

Aura: That's all folks!! Read and Review please!! 


	7. Rule Number 8: Baby TV

Aura: I'm so sorry!! My updating has been out for the count completely! I just moved house and…please don't kill me?

Yzak: **twitch**

Toby: **twitch**

Aura:…Gomen…

Miriallia: Remember kids; Aura does not own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny, or the song Konayuki by Remioromen! She has also asked me to let you all know that her mind isn't that perverted, these were just the most humiliating things she could think of at the time!

* * *

I sighed.

"Do you have too?"

"I'm sorry Asuran…I don't want to but they need me…"

"Hey, its okay! We'll be fine!"

"Are you sure?"

No. No, I'm not sure!

"Of course! Besides, I'll call you if anything happens!"

Why! Why did this have to happen?!

"You better do! Well. This is my ride! I love you."

She was leaving again! One of the other representatives were off sick and they needed someone to help so Cagalli volunteered to do their work as well…

Gah! I think she just WANTS to leave me with the Kids!

I leant down and gave her a soft, sweet kiss.

"I love you more, Princess!"

She giggled lightly. Ever since yesterdays um…"fun" I'd been calling her Princess, as it seems to make her giggle!

" Impossible, Alex."

"Never."

I caught her lips in another kiss and a small creature in my arms voiced his disgust and jealousy by letting out a wail. Cagalli took Makoto from me and gave him a special snuggle! It made me feel all warm inside to watch the mother of my children snuggling and tickling my year old son.

As it was a Wednesday, Hiro and Mine were at school, so it was just us seeing Cagalli off.

"Asuran? I gotta go now!"

I suddenly snapped back into reality as Cagalli handed back Makoto.

"You are such a dreamer!" She laughed and hit my head lightly and Makoto joined in by pulling on my hair! I smiled back and Cagalli's limo diver coughed impatiently. I walked over to the door and opened it.

"Your Carriage awaits my lady!"

"Aaah quit being such a gentleman!" She kissed my cheek and got in. I shut the door and me and Makoto waved as you was driven away.

NOT AGAIN!

I swear, last time was bad enough, but now I have Makoto too! This is just someone's cruel idea of a joke isn't it! I looked down at the little boy in my arms, who was trying desperately hard to grab the butterfly that kept landing on his nose.

" I guess it's just you and me kid!" I sighed and walked inside. I went into the living room and put Makoto into his playpen. I flopped onto the sofa tiredly. Wouldn't it be great to be a baby again? Back then, all you worried about was whether you got hugged enough. I closed my eyes and tried to think about my childhood.

Why?

Why can't I remember my mothers voice properly?

Click 

Eh?!

"Ah! Faster, FASTER!!"

My eyes snapped open.

Makoto was sat in front of the T.V…

With the remote…

WATCHING PORN!?

" AAH! MAKOTO! Bad baby! How'd you get out of your pen!?" I closed my eyes for 1 SECOND!! That's all! I SWEAR we LOCKED the porn channels!

Oh no…

Could it be…?

He's gonna be a Sex Addict!?

He must've seen too much of Cagalli and I! Please don't turn out to be a Sex Addict that gets put in Jail all the time!

"Hey Dad! We're home!"

OMG! Mine! Quick, where's the remote?! I looked around. No remote! Makoto giggled. All I did was blink!

" Play, hide see! Play, hide see!"

This. Is. Not. Good.

"Has Makoto hidden the remote again?" Mine sighed and walked into the room. What she saw was me holding Makoto in the air, while the porn channel played in the background.

Not…

GOOD!

" ASURAN ZALA, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"

"It was Makoto!"

"LIKE I'M GONNA BELIEVE THAT!!"

Hiro peeked his head round the door to find out what all the fuss was about.

"Oh Makoto found the Porn Channel again?"

He shook his head and walked over to the plant pot next to the T.V.

" That's the third time this week!" He bent down and pulled the remote from out of the soil.

" Makoto, you have to stop hiding the remote!"

How the hell…

"Later!"

And with that, he proceeded to the kitchen. Me and Mine blinked.

My son…

Was becoming a MAN!

At 12!

I'm so proud!

"Dad, stop crying, get up off the floor and go make dinner!"

She didn't seem very happy…

PMSing of course!

I hope…

I got up and placed Makoto back in his pen. He grinned up at me happily.

" Mine…yell!"

I swear, he just wants me to get in trouble! Mine twitched and walked upstairs, muttering something about perverse old men…

Great.

" And rule number 8 Asuran Zala: DO NOT LET BABBIES WATCH PORN!"

I knew that was coming…

I jumped a mile when I heard the shrill ringing of the phone. I glared at it before picking it up, pretending it was all the phones fault.

" Hello, Zala residence, how may I help you?"

" Hello Mr Zala! Its Shina! Is Mine there?"

"Sure, hold on a second!" I put my hand over the receiver and called for mine.

If looks could kill…

She grabbed the phone and shooed me out the room, slamming the door behind her. Guess I'll start dinner then! Maybe Oden would be a good idea as is its Mine's favourite. I was just looking for an apron when I heard a loud yell from the living room! And as the worried father I am, I dropped everything and ran to find out what happened!

" Mine, what's-"

"YOU SLEPT WITH DAISUKE!?"

I…

Did NOT just hear that…

My hand was resting on the door handle, but I just let it go…and back away…Kira is NOT gonna be happy…how come everything sex related goes on in front of Makoto? I sighed and walked back into the kitchen.

"Fire daddy, fire!"

I looked up and found Makoto sitting on the draining board…

Playing with the electric stove!!

THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ONE DAY!!

"Makoto! Stop that right now! How'd you get out!? How'd you get up there!?"

"PROTECTION! WHAT ABOUT PROTECTION!?"

**Sasaina ii aimo nakute  
Onaji jikan wo ikite nado ike nai  
Sunao ni nare nai nara  
Yorokobi mo kanashimi mo munashii dake**

"HIRO! TURN THAT DOWN!"

"GO DROWN IN CHOCOLATE!"

" WAAAAAAHH!"

This…was gonna be a long few days…

* * *

Aura: PLEEASE!! R&R!!

Yzak: you'll be lucky…

Toby: **actually agrees**

Aura: **crys**


End file.
